What Makes a Good Funeral Eulogy?

How to Tell Someone’s Story Beautifully

One of the questions I’m often asked as a funeral celebrant is, “What makes a good funeral eulogy?”

Many people assume a eulogy should be a list of achievements or a timeline of someone’s life. In reality, the most memorable tributes are rarely about what someone did. They’re about who they were.

A good eulogy tells a story.

It gives family and friends the opportunity to recognise the person they loved. It might remind them of a familiar saying, a favourite hobby, an infectious laugh or a little quirk that made everyone smile. Those are often the moments that mean the most.

It isn’t about trying to impress people. It’s about helping everyone in the room recognise the person they knew and loved.

Every Life Has a Story

No two people are the same, so no two eulogies should be either.

Some people have travelled the world, while others have spent a lifetime devoted to their family or community. Some were quiet and gentle; others were larger than life. Every story deserves to be told with honesty, warmth and kindness.

The aim isn’t to include every detail of someone’s life. Instead, it’s to paint a picture of the person behind the name.

It’s Not a List of Achievements

Of course, important milestones deserve to be mentioned, but a meaningful eulogy isn’t like reading a CV.

People are far more likely to remember the story about Dad’s terrible dancing, Grandma’s famous Sunday roast or the way Mum always made everyone feel welcome than a long list of dates and accomplishments.

It’s those personal touches that make a tribute feel genuine.

Don’t Be Afraid to Smile

Many families worry that laughter isn’t appropriate at a funeral.

In fact, it’s often the moments of gentle laughter that bring the greatest comfort. A shared smile reminds everyone that, although we’re saying goodbye, we’re also celebrating a life that brought happiness to others.

Sharing a funny memory or recalling a light-hearted moment doesn’t diminish the sadness of saying goodbye. It celebrates the joy that person brought to the lives of others.

Quite often, the laughter and the tears sit side by side – and that’s perfectly natural.

Honesty Matters More Than Perfection

Some families worry about finding the “right” words.

There are no perfect words.

The most touching eulogies are honest. They acknowledge a person’s strengths, celebrate the relationships they built and reflect the life they lived. They don’t need to make someone sound perfect because none of us are.

Instead, they remind us why that person was loved.

A Lasting Tribute

As a celebrant, I spend time getting to know the families I work with. I listen to their stories, look through photographs and discover the little details that make each person unique.

Those conversations become the heart of every ceremony I write.

Because when people leave a funeral, I hope they don’t simply remember the service. I hope they leave saying, “Yes… that was them.“

Because, in the end, the best eulogies don’t simply tell us how someone lived. They remind us why they will always be remembered.

Helen Borking Celebrant
‘The right words, when they matter the most’